Lather Lather Lather

A blantant plug for the very soon to be launched gimmesoap, the world's first daily internet soap. I am personally assured that a team of 10 journalists have been writing for the last six months. With a team of writers like that it's set to be the new friends.

posted by stu 3:43 PM | +

Vote

Bringing capitalism and democracy closer together at voteauction.com. Reminded me of the rational voter hypothesis, which I always like to think that I subscribe. I suppose now I can always flog my vote.

Although in all honesty, its probably got more to do with the fact that I can't be arsed to put my cross on any ballot paper, even though I loved the film election, I never got round to voting for it.

posted by stu 8:25 AM | +

30.8.00

Fear and loathing

We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?"

Thus started a book I picked up by chance while perusing round a book shop in London, probably about ten years ago. I had stumbled across Hunter S. Thompson, wierd really, because at the time you think you have discovered something only you know about it, the book subsequently did the round of my friends and actually managed to travel round the world with different people, until I got it back dog eared and faded.

Apart from the opening paragraph, the great thing about the book was the illustrations by Ralph Steadman, the way they were integrated as part of the book, with ink drips across the page just seemed so radical but obviously fitting with the text.

And while, for me, Hunter S. Thompson never really did anything as good or as influential as Fear and Loathing, Ralph Steadman, has done some great stuff, not least his work for my local off license.

posted by stu 1:37 PM | +

Belter

Not sure if I need a chastity belt.

posted by stu 8:35 AM | +

29.8.00

Strap on

I want a personal flying machine.

posted by stu 2:58 PM | +

Mobile Disco

Following on from an earlier posting, I'm glad to say that a friend of a friend is doing the music for the wedding, although it has been reported that he will still have to play a Waltz as its traditional and the old folks will want a dance.

Mobiles Disco on the other hand, is a wholly more attractive proposition than a wedding DJ.

posted by stu 2:35 PM | +

Hochzeiten

Three and a half weeks to go...but I'm calm, and looking forward to it. The weekend was good, checking out the place where we tie the knot, it looks great and has a really nice view.

Very romantic, just like me...

posted by stu 11:03 AM | +

25.8.00

Bank Holiday Madness

Right, well I'm off to Munich for the weekend. I'll be checking out the wedding venue, seating plans, menus, hotels and german mobile disco dj's. All of which should be a right laugh.

posted by stu 5:09 PM | +

Human Ltd

Preparation is the key to a long life. I'm thinking of joining the extrophy institute to meet some of the finest critical and creative minds. I feel up to challenging conventional thinking about human limits and subscribing to the extropian principles.

Alas, I fear that no matter how much I prepare and challenge human limits no one will ever be able to juggle 13 balls.

posted by stu 9:05 AM | +

24.8.00

The Money Shot

B2C slump? yeah, yeah but you never hear that 18 million US Internet users visited porn sites last April. Over three times as many than in April 1999. All this stuff I have to talk about all day - user tracking, new advertising techniques, credit payment systems, real-time chat, live web casts - all innovations from the world of internet pornography.

Has it reached its peak, climaxed so to speak?

According to websense, the number of new pornographic websites has more than doubled every year since 1994, but this growth rate has now begun to slow down, with a rate of only 40% this year and a further slowdown expected over the next year or two. Futher to this searchterms.com says that 'sex' is relegated to third position, after 'travel' and 'mp3' as the most popular search term.

I guess this is probably due to the changing demographics of internet use and I expect there is still a few bob to be made in the B2C sector.

posted by stu 6:02 PM | +

Its all in the domain

Don't know if you noticed but currently domain names are limited to ascii (American Standard Code for Information Interchange). Network Solutions plans to change that in the near future. According to a spokesperson, "People who write in Urdu or Chinese should be able to use the functionality of the Internet."

Fatskier in urdu anyone?

posted by stu 9:33 AM | +

22.8.00

Game play

Take two fun ingredients, Pictionary and instant messaging, mix together and have hours of fun avoiding work while playing against your colleagues at isketch.net.

Is this another ploy by the man to make the internet more addictive?

posted by stu 8:25 AM | +

21.8.00

Service not included

At last, now I can tip my favourite artists whose music I've gotten off the Internet for free at Fairtunes.com.

I think I might organise a whip round for Creedence Clearwater Revisited who are languishing with $0.

posted by stu 11:39 AM | +

Bobby

Courtesy of rob at tsluts, I decided to use bobby the web-based tool that analyses web pages for their accessibility to people with disabilities.

Failed miserably, my amateur html skills are obviously not up to the job. Back to the drawing board, first rule of web strategy know your audience and their needs.

posted by stu 9:40 AM | +

18.8.00

Mary Jane

Amsterdam is a truely beautiful city, made especially beautiful by the fact that my sister lives there. Now the crazy world of the e-commerce and has come to visit one of Amsterdam's well known residents...marijuana

iToke is set to launch a service to delivery marijuana to customers who can place orders via WAP mobile phones.

'Users will set up a user/address profile--either through a normal browser or WAP--which will remain anonymous. After ordering a product (limited to 2 grams) from a streamlined menu, a courier will arrive within 30 minutes,' said Mike Tucker, 33, one of iToke's founders.

Wonder if they will bring the pizza as well?

posted by stu 9:22 AM | +

17.8.00

New media, new arse

The man at explodingdog.com draws pictures to the titles people send him.

Currently I have the pleasure of working in the dizzy world of new media, so was particularly attracted to the sentiment and interpretation of this drawing.

posted by stu 4:07 PM | +

Teeth

I never had to wear a brace, and I think my teeth are in fairly good condition, but this morning, while brushing, I got to worrying about toothbrush abrasion and the appearance of abnormally enlarged teeth.

posted by stu 11:33 AM | +

You ain't seen me, right?

At the risk of being inundated with more spam, a mildly amusing tip off service.

posted by stu 11:17 AM | +

16.8.00

Je suis un Rock Star

It's true, ok I'm looking slight older and have a bad goatee to cover my double chin. Crazy thing is in co-star, one of the few covers we did was a speeded up version of bad moon rising, and if my memory serves me right we had to pay royalties when we played it at that dive the rock garden!

If only I had known then that I was actually in Creedence Clearwater Revival, I would be insignificantly better off now.

posted by stu 5:01 PM | +

15.8.00

co-star

As some will know, this site is named after an early band that I was in with a bunch of mates, we were shit hot and fell apart after one gig. During the years I've played in a few bands, the most success was in co-star, we played live on the bbc, ok - local radio bbc and played quite a few gigs, the peak of which was probably the mean fiddler but we still managed to implode just as it was getting a little interesting

So image my surpise while watching Top of the Pops to see Jayne Middlemass wearing a co-star t-shirt!. Fantastic, great PR just five years late...

ps. I should of registered the url
co-star.com
co-star.co.uk
co-star.org

posted by stu 3:58 PM | +

School Report

My friend Nick Hobbs used to make me laugh alot at school, I think that once a teacher wanted to match his unrivalled humour and gain some revenge by writing in his school report that 'Nick is the classiest bit of wallpaper I know, he can blend into any background.'

Perhaps Nick has missed his vocation in life, because he could of advised those in need on how to blend in.

posted by stu 9:25 AM | +

14.8.00

Model Planes

When I was a kid I went through a phase of building airfix models. Luckily this passed, and today you have to wonder if these people that build matchstick models of the houses of parliment have any life.

But to have the ingenuity to really take the concept further and build a matchstick model that actually flies really must be applauded.

posted by stu 9:54 AM | +

Swearing

I know small things please little minds but your computer swearing at the click of a mouse never fails to amuse.

What would be really useful for me, is one that swears in german.

posted by stu 9:38 AM | +

11.8.00

Tie me up, Tie me down

I still have to purchase a tie to wear at my wedding, facing the difficult question of colour, style and knot. In line with some of the recent postings, I'm pondering the question of a tie as Penis Extension or Fashion Accessory. An interesting one, but I think I find myself leaning towards the fashion accessory school of thought.

posted by stu 2:11 PM | +

Size Matters

Support Group for the well endowed... My membership card is the post

posted by stu 8:31 AM | +

10.8.00

Tequila

I've always been a fan of the drink despite or probably because of some the stories it has provided, last one being a certain mexican friend's birthday...

Never the cheapest option, it now seems that the laws of supply and demand are catching up with the tequila market.

posted by stu 9:53 AM | +

Warp Britney

Your chance to enhance the pop diva.

posted by stu 8:55 AM | +

9.8.00

Apophallation

Now this is enough to make you eyes water, but a botched circumcision really does make you feel attached to your bits.

posted by stu 5:56 PM | +

8.8.00

Penis flower

I remember a while back that one of these rare flowers bloomed in Kew Gardens.

I suppose that if they were in any doubt as to whether it is actually the the world's largest, they could always check it against this chart.

posted by stu 1:54 PM | +

Of an evening...

German men defend their prowess between the sheets, survey reveals half the nation's women are left unsatisfied by their partners.

posted by stu 8:23 AM | +

7.8.00

Of an evening

Tonight for the first time in five weeks I can go straight home after work, no more german language course. I don't think I know what I'm going to do, I look forward to speaking to my wife-to-be. Although we may have a few cross-cultural differences, I don't think we've quite achieved this.

At least my mind is at rest, although I didn't do it, I now know how to ask her father for her hand in marriage.

posted by stu 9:36 AM | +

4.8.00

Honeymoon in Las Vegas

Lately I've been consumed with all things wedding related, very dull for those who are not, but my latest mission which I chose to accept was to book the honeymoon. Should be easy, but where? Somewhere different? Of course then there is all the horror stories about things going wrong

What I really need is a wedding-consultant-in-a-box

posted by stu 8:37 AM | +

3.8.00

I feel like dancing

Put on your red shoes and dance the blues, I think I'll ask tourett syndrome barbie along.

posted by stu 10:05 AM | +

2.8.00

Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy

That's them there mad cows to you and me

I think I need some news on the Inquiry because there is worrying news of new cases in a place called Queniborough, thats only one vowel out for some certain friends of mine.

posted by stu 4:42 PM | +

Spinal Tap

England's greatest rock band, Spinal Tap are back, infact 'Back from the Dead'

"We're putting it on the Internet because we want the people who really care that we're still alive to have it in their hands and their machinery and then in their ears," David St. Hubbins said. The song can be found at Tapster.

A Federal judge on Wednesday barred the real company, Napster, from trading music online pending a trial. In a Spinal Tap news release, "Tufnel" said Napster simply offers too many songs.

"One of the brilliant things about Tapster is that there's only one song to choose from," Tufnel said.

posted by stu 4:21 PM | +